Being as close to the fires as we were on our honeymoon was a new experience for the Boi and myself.
It's not very original but I've been busy working and yesterday was my 32nd birthday; a time traditionally spent wishing my mother had crossed her legs for a fortnight so that my birthday wasn't largely ignored by those around me too busy with Christmas and New Years, or on holidays. *SOB* Rant over.
Happy New Year Scavengers.
Huge hugs and may they be safe and happy.
1. Top two Favorite Movies.
Tough one, there are too many to choose from.
Two I could watch ad nauseum?
Practical Magic, Sweet Home Alabama.
Tomorrow the answer may change.
2. Top two Favorite Actors.
Johny Depp, Alan Rickman.
3. Top two Favorite Actresses.
Susan Sarandon, Janeane Garofalo.
4. Top two Favorite TV Shows.
Currently loving Weeds, also Men In Trees.
They both appeal to my love of quirky things.
Once again a very difficult category to narrow down.
5. Top two Favorite TV Musicians.
Paul Hester used to host a music show on the Australia's
ABC, he would be first on the list.
Second? Harder to say. James Reyne on Dig TV
(ABC Digital 2).
Sorry; I couldn't come up with any lines this week. I do have this picture of the dirty marks left from when the Boi removed the stickers from his van after he stopped working as a courier. It sorta fits. 
This was taken on our Honeymoon at the Browns Brothers Wineries at Milawa. I thought it would make a perfect Wordless. Merry Christmas everyone.
1. Do you celebrate a religious meaning to this season and if so, what (Christmas, Hanukkah, etc.)? If not, why?
My family celebrate Christmas, friends celebrate Hannukah, mostly I celebrate Summer Solstice.
2. What does this holiday season mean to
you and why?
It means my birthday being ignored. Until I met the Boi I never had birthday celebrations. He makes a point of doing something special on the day (it falls between Christmas and New Years.) so that takes the edge of. I don't cope
well with this time of year so it also means depreession and lots of crying. (I think it relates to the Birthday being ignored in the past but I am not completely sure.)
3. Which do you enjoy the most: giving pre
sents or receiving presents and why?
Giving: As the old quote says: It is not better to give then to receive, just less embarassing. I also like coming up with different things that suit t
he person receiving, but also reflect the Boi and me. I don't like receiving as I never know how to react and tend to do so badly.
4. Name two holiday movies that best describes the season for you:
Crackers and Home For The Holidays.
5. Name two holiday songs that best describes the season for you:
Overall I find wearing bra's very very annoying... it doesn't surprise me in the least that they were invented by a male. ;p Conversations with my female friends reinforce my choice of a bra as something annoying; bits digging in, finding correct sizes, sexy versus comfort, the "double cleavage" look, riding up, falling out, pinching, etc. etc. etc.
The bra in the picture is the one I wore while playing the role of Janet in RHPS Audience Participation for almost a decade. I fell out of it at least once a performance, which my"Rocky" found annoying. So I guess it's a double whammy.
1. Name you are most frequently called? Nickname you are most frequently called?
Cate or Cath. Nickname? Kitty Cat by my Mum (which I hate so thought I'd take ownership of in the name of a blog), Felice and Lestat.
2. Age people think you are? Age you wish you were?
I got hit on the other day by a guy who thought I was 18, but mostly I get told I look 24. I feel 24. I don't wish I was any age, more the weight I was when I was a certain age.
3. Have you ever had someone mess with/pranked you while you were sleeping? Have you ever messed/pranked with people when they are sleeping?
Nope.
4. Have you ever actually listened to a Telemarketers phone call? Have you ever prank-called someone?
Yes to a telemarketers call. Yes, I've prank called someone. We had a group call the one number leaving messages for someone who didn't live there, say Bob, over a period of a week. Then the final person called saying they were Bob and asking for messages.
5. What is the longest you have gone without food? What is the largest amount of food you have ever eaten at one sitting?
Longest without food? 3 days. Largest amount eaten in one sitting? Not sure. I'm a recovering bulimic and have a love hate relationship with food. Probably a large pizza, a family size cheese cake, 2L of coke, garlic bread and then lots of snack food. All before the Coeliac diagnosis, all hidden eating. I still hide some of my eating butI'm getting better about not binge eating and making sure I do eat. (I get sick now if I eat too much or don't eat.)
This was taken during the week we've been away on our Honeymoon. We went up to the beautiful area between Mount Hotham and Mount Buffallo, staying at Wandiligong or Morse's Creek. It was stunning, but sadly the area is under threat from Bushfires. The image I tried to capture of the sun was when it was bright red from the polution of the fires. This photo doesn't do it justice.
My heart goes out to the people affected by fires at this time.
OK; TMI about to follow.
I got my first full wax today. Actually, my first waxing experience pretty much ever.
OUCH!
The Wedding will be three days before full moon; which is a mixed blessing. It means I am more emotionally stable but that my own cycle will be during the week we are away.
In the morning I am purchasing Rescue Remedy or Emergency Essence.
I have a cake and catch up with girlfriends tomorrow too.
Then final purchases: Ribon for car and outfit for grandnephew and ring bearer and we are set.
*gulp*
I'm very scared but I don't know why. Forever doesn't frighten me because "Forever ends tommorow."
I'll apologise now for not doing TMI, Wordless and Scavenger this week coming but I hope people will understand.
Huge hugs to all.
1. Have you ever said “I Love you” and not meant it? Has someone told you “I Love you” and not meant it?
No, I've never said I love you and not meant it in that moment. Yes, someone has done that to me.
2. Do you believe in love at first sight? Do you believe in karma?
Yes, I believe in love at first sight and karma. I also believe in the rules of 3's. What you send out comes back to you three times as hard; things happen in threes; there are others but I cannot remember them of the top of my head.
3. What person do you trust the most? What person do you trust the least?
I trust people more if they do not look like they conform to another persons drum beat; which is hard to explain. If you wear your pants half way down your arse than I have issues trusting you. If you wear a suit than I will be wary. If you judge me before you know me than I will be distrustful of you. Which leads in to another rule of 3; give everyone you meet 3 chances; the first two times might be bad days and you might lose the chance to meet a great person if you go by initial impressions.
4. What type(s) of music do you like? What type(s) of music do you dislike?
I have very eclectic tastes in music; I like everything except house, hip hop and techno. This general rule has exceptions; I don't like techno but I like Spanky. I love the Clannad but cannot come at Enya solo.
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Who do you think is your celebrity look-a-like?
Clelebrity crush? Janene Garofalo, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Kevin Smith, Deborah Conway, Stevie Nicks, Alan Rickman... the list continues. At the moment I'm really liking Kav Temperley from Eskimo Joe.
In the beginning the universe was created.
This has made a lot of people angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
--Douglas Adams
- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off”
Stephen King1. What two things are you most thankful for?
My partner and my parents.
2. What are two things you like about Thanksgiving?
That we don't celebrate it in Australia (sign we haven't given in totally to the US influence on our culture) and the Foxtrot cartoons that commemorate it.
3. What two foods do you like the most for Thanksgiving dinner?
Omen, who once cooked me a Thanksgiving dinner made the best pumpkin pie. I also love cranberry sauce thanks to that night.
4. What two things do you do with the leftovers?
Leftovers? Hmmmm; sheppards pie is a Christmas leftover family tradition. Bubble and squeek also gets made alot after Christmas.
5. What are two activities you do after eating Thanksgiving Dinner?
You're too young to know what we did after the Thanksgiving dinner made for me ;)
If I was in the US I'd probably watch the football, have I got this right, Superbowl on Thanksgiving? I'd also be recovering from protests over shooting wild turkeys.
I have very long hair, which I got trimmed and coloured today in preparation for the wedding. This *Risque* photo was taken about six years ago but it gives some idea of the length. Before the cut today it was below my waist, now it sits halfway down my back. The Boi's first words when he saw the new colour and cut was; "You look great".
The comment was doubly fantastic as I had just walked the 25 minutes home from the station and was bright red (39C today people... that's about 100F pre decimalisation) and severely out of breath, got to love infections.
So my next big wedding thing, also hair related, is a major waxing. Pits, brows and bikini. I've had the first two done before but never the third. I've been told it is only painful if the hair is too long. TMI? ;p
On Saturday it's the Hens night with make up trial before it in the afternoon; I'll be handing out HTV's in the morning so any Eastern Region Victorians come say "Hi" if you recognise me; I'll be handing out for the Democrats and People Power. The last state election I handed out for Democrats and Greens; but the Greens seem to have enough help this time around.
I also remember the delicious smell of the big loaves of bread baking in the family bakery's wood-burning oven. I have loved the smell and taste of fresh bread ever since. Georg Solti
I want to send a huge hug of thanks to my Mum. OK, she drives me nuts but she also acts as my foundation. While organising my wedding she's been a voice of fiscal reasoning but also willing to open her wallet for the important things. She has asked us to wait until we are married to have children many times (and asked us to delay IVF till it's done); but she was also the person who helped me see a lighter side to the whole process. Yes, lots of useless advice and clichéd supportive statements aggravate me, but she's also been down to earth and funny when I needed her too. So THANK YOU MUM.
Say Thanks to your mum here.
Growth: An interpretation before bed.
The Boi has an obscene growth on his face. I like guys clean shaven. Nothing against those with beards; but if I want to kiss and not end up with the worse case of pash rash since Sharon from Kath and Kim I need my Romeo's clean shaven.
I guess I'm like Beatrice in Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing, 2:1.
Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face!
I'm giving some serious thought to buying this for the next baby in the family; unfortunately the niece who is expecting has not got a similar sense of humour to me. I'll keep looking for "Shits, spits and vomits."Two this week; the first was one I took of a gorgeous stain glass window in the main street of Warburton. The second was my attempt at a photo showing the "window to the soul." I prefer the first one; the second was my original idea. I thought I'd post both.
I can never resist a bad pun;
Creative expression of self becomes important when you are trying to sort out your emotions. I'm tired at the moment so my explanation may be a little vague;
With creativity you can let out things that your subconscious might otherwise repress; like van Gogh and the Irises. Amongst this glorious painting of purple flowers we get one solitary white Iris, it's difference draws the eye. From an existentialist perspective we ask what meaning the solitary iris has to the painter; is it him? Is it just a case of running out of purple? Was it to break up the purple and give the eye a different point of focus? Is it the unconscious trying to be seen?
There's a book, The Van Gogh Blues which looks at this in much better detail.
Eric Maisel states; "Creators have trouble maintaining meaning," explains Maisel. "Creating is one of the ways they endeavor to maintain meaning. In the act of creation, they lay a veneer of meaning over meaninglessness and sometimes produce work that helps others maintain meaning. This is why creating is such a crucial activity in the life of a creator: It is one of the ways, and often the most important way, that she manages to make life feel meaningful. Not creating is depressing because she is not making meaning when she is not creating."
Using the Crayons format allows this depressive to get the creative side out in a less meaningful way. With two cats any painting I do means that I risk paw prints through the art work. As much as I feel they have more talent then I do it can ruin something I am happy with. Paintings of the uterus as a graveyard in which nothing can grow are not as poignant when they come complete with paw prints.
Prose allows thoughts to form in a way that those closest can see the meaning. It might come out in a shambolic fashion that means it needs a serious edit, but in that moment it allows the heart to bleed. You can hide the truth in prose; if a person reads my poetry and doesn't know me it can be seen as an exploration of pop culture, or another sad Goth trying to express their non existent inner self through the art of angst. To those that understand it can be a cry for help; or it can be a sign that things are on the improve.
Eventually I'll catalogue most of the poetry here. That might take years, but in doing that I hope to better understand my meaning and how it has changed. I also hope to edit and improve stuff written over a twenty seven year period. I've come a distance since writing about magicians as a 4 year old; but the hope that things will get better is still behind the pen. Who knows; one day I might be referred to as a female Ginsberg. Huge hope, but maybe that is what the meaning creative people search for is; hope.
Thanks to Obasso over at HNT for the picture.
I love that an artist whose messages were very cleverly disguised to make a "Christian message more acceptable to the majority" used a wonderful symbol of the upcoming harvest festival to show how we can all be more open to others beliefs.
One of the Mythbusters uses "I reject your reality and substitute my own."
I think people should be grateful that this does not happen more often.
Could the person substituting their reality for mine stop. I want the happy back.
I do not know if this is my current place; I do not like these thoughts inside me; they are better out. Lets call this fiction; then I don't need to own the disease that eats at my sanity... then I don't need to own these thoughts.
I shouldn't be left alone at times like this.
Like what?
Like when the voices in my head start to scream louder and louder; like when I am going down, deeper into the darkness and finding that I
cannot
breathe.
I cannot swim through this
tar, slowly clogging in the reality of who I am.
I am not a child of the light,
nor do I think I ever will be.
I am clothed in the darkness.
I shouldn't be left alone at times like these
... when the mania turns to despair.
When the over whelming urge to fuck is replaced
by an even more deeper need to cease.
All coins have two sides,
this is mine.
The mania lifts me higher then anything and I feel the sun on my face as you smile at me.
but I have been left alone;
the sun is replaced by the cold empty barren moon.
Listen to music;
escape the feelings;
escape
Icehouse used to cheer me up;
look Icehouse Icehouse.
Lets play.
Play.
Play.
Play.
Play song about insane asylum.
Asylum from the wants and needs of others.
Others who aren't here.
Here where I am alone.
Alone in my head as I drown in my thoughts
thoughts overcrowding me
me abandoned to the voices
voices screaming louder to do things I don't want to.
To you.
You who have saved me before
Before when I have been like this
This place where I am alone
Alone... I shouldn't be alone at times like this...
| Your Mood Ring is Red |
 Energized Adventurous Ready to go |
| You Are 20% Abnormal |
 You are at low risk for being a psychopath. It is unlikely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer. |
| Your Lucky Underwear is Blue |
 You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them. You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist. Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry. If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first. |
| Your Scholastic Strength Is Developing Ideas |
 You can take a spark of inspiration and turn it into a full fledged concept. You are talented at brainstorming, visualizing, organizing, and independent thinking. You should major in: Natural sciences Computer science Creative writing Math Architecture Journalism |
I love this cake. Ah, revenge..... just once I would like to not have to scan an ingredients list for allergens.... 
....and on the topic of gas; Kismet.
| |||
| This song is resonating in me today; growing stronger like a heart beat. I think it might just be how others see me. The description of how she sees others is definitely accurate to how I see people. I do laugh to easily and cry to hard, and the other lyrics with the exception of the Frida Kahlo one is pretty spot on. Tim Freedman has read my diaries I am sure. He has captured the feeling of being me in so many of his songs, and given lyrics to snapshots of my life. I guess that is what a good lyricist does. |
A personal aspect for lost; my maternal Grandparents. They were both "lost" before I was born. I have been searching for them since my birth. Since I began genealogy and family history searches I am slowly finding them.
This is something you can do at Bone Idol. I've never tried anything like this before, including playing with paint on the computer.
I'm a huge Rocky Horror fan ans have Audience Participation Janet-ed on many times. On stage and as an audience member. I'm not 100% happy but it's not bad for a first go.
It occurs to me that I have many pictures of Dad up but non of Mum yet.
This was taken at Lockington, near Rochester in Victoria, she'd be about twelve, so that would make it 60 years ago; circa 1946.
Mum and I have a fairly typical Mother/Daughter relationship; dysfunctional yet over all good.
I think I can safely say that I am closer to her then any of the others. We've learnt to be forthright in most things. She's still scared of being 100% honest with me due to being conditioned by others that honesty leads to that truth being thrown back at you and manipulated.
The hurts we have are generally from her replaying her own Mother issues out with me or link directly into her not being fully honest.
Having said that though; I learnt how to play her to get what I need without upsetting her too much, a skill the others need to learn. It's not manipulation so much as refusing to allow her internal thought script to be a negative one. She seems to not have had very many positive reports from her own mother and was distant from her emotionally; this recurs in a deep sense of rejection whenever someone knocks back something she has done for her.
I love my mother deeply and hate to see her hurt in this way. My current approach is to get her to see faults as character, and not as a reason to pull out an entire jumper and restart knitting. My father is trying a similar tack. Together we get about a quarter step forward before something we think is trivial results in a major step back.
If only she'd start treating us as individuals it would make things better; she insists on everyone being treated "the same" which doesn't work for anyone, especially at Christmas and Birthdays.
This was taken at the "Meet the Candidates" for the Australian Democrats Jagajaga branch. I was the candidate. I'm talking to my Dad. If you read any of my stuff you'll see what a huge influence on my life he is.
He taught me to not sit back but to stand up for what I believe in.
He isn't thrilled at my choice of political party, the campaigning against duck shooting or the way I choose to dress, but he has never made me feel less then loved for being me.
He maintains that the two most beautiful "little girls" in the world are my sister and myself; I'm 31 and my sister is in her 40's. He says he "falls in love" with my mother "again every morning," sings bad C&W music off key and thinks outside the box for cooking.
In December he'll walk me down the aisle. I can't wait. I know I'll have the two handsomest men with me; one to walk me down and give me away, the other to say I do and walk with me through life.
The Wordless Wednesday for this week is still in my original blog.
You can find that here.
As new things are done they will be here.
